BBQ Sauce Perfume.

One good thing about working at a restaurant: I will never drop out of school, so that I never have to work in the food service industry ever again. It is too stressful, I feel like my head is spinning the whole time I'm there. I also can't stand the smell. I constantly smell like pulled pork. Which is gross because I don't even like BBQ food, unless it is from Jack's. Jack's is the best because their sauce does not taste like BBQ sauce, it just tastes awesome, and it's obviously better because the whole restaurant is covered with gator stuff- hello heaven?!

So, I went to a bar/club last night- I would love for someone to explain to me why college night=old creepy guy night. Also, explain to me why making vulgar gestures seems like an effective way of picking up the ladies... Seeing what you can do with your tongue doesn't make me think "Oh my, that man is super delicious, let me leave my friends and let you have your way with me." I figured out I highly dislike dancing with strangers, unless of course it's salsa dancing.. that's totally allowed. There is nothing more awkward then having a man rub his clever parts on you when you don't even know his name... So because of the creep factor we didn't stay long.. which was unfortunate because there was this super fun gay guy dancing his little heart out and I greatly enjoyed watching him.

One more month until my life returns to normal and structured and busy. I can't wait!

The Story Of My Life..

I'm often told my life should be made into a TV show.. I can't understand this. My life is boring, predictable, and monotonous- which I am aware is redundant. Admittedly, I do have minor dramatic issues and my family is crazy, but I think I'm pretty normal. My crazy family has inspired me to want to write a kid series called MOMZILLA AND THE BRAT. Kinda like Beezus and Ramona only with a Captain Underpants twist. I think it'll be awesome. The event that inspired this was:

I was showering... minding my own business... and I hear my mom call from the door. She said "Meagan, come out here for a second you need to see this!" So, I stick my head out to see a strange girl laughing hysterically at me, my mom is laughing, and my uncle who is standing in the hallway is also laughing (I know it sounds like a bad dream.) I then realize that the strange girl is my brother in a lady wig. No joke he looked EXACTLY like a girl. I am not trying to make fun of my brother... he's pretty manly for an 11 year old- I guess. I was seriously frightened. Watching horror movies has taught me bad things happen in the shower and little girls are creepy. And then realizing it was my brother made me frightened that he may have a future in a crossdressing career. My family just thought this situation was hilarious. I'm locking the door from now on....

My summer goals are slow in coming. I am going to the beach tomorrow, I have successfully taken my brother to the library a few times, and started on project Laura. I miss Gainesville and have started a countdown until I am reunited with Gator soil. I think I can make it... as long as I have water and canned soup.

Hey, What's Your SPF?

Today I realized that I often have completely hypothetical or imaginary conversations with people. I think this is weird... For example: this morning I told Jonathan that I was an advanced species of human that was immune from a "biological clock," but I couldn't talk about it because the Caveman species were hunting my people out of jealousy. I told him this because I said his biological clock was ticking and that he was too old to marry anyone decent- so he should start hitting on people that he meets on the bus. Then, he politely pointed out that I am older than him and equally as available.

This wouldn't be weird if I was in elementary school, in fact that would be pretty tame for me- I used to pretend to be Harry Potter/make up other HP characters and invent personalities for them and act it out during recess with my friends. I also used to dig "bug hotels" in the dirt during my tomboy stage with my dude friends. Alas, I am not in elementary school, but I find it hard to take life seriously. I have an overactive imagination... do they have AA meetings for that?

No Good Very Bad Food

I love reading articles that show you which foods are bad for you at restaurants and just in general. They have them up on Yahoo! News all the time. They kind of scare me that one single dish could have the daily recommended calorie intake, but I can't stop reading them- it's a serious problem.

The Smokin' Q Three Pack at Denny's has 2,020 calories! And the Red Robin Peppercorn Burger has 1,433, Five Guys fries (large) has 1,464, and the Cheesecake Factory Kids' Pasta with Alfredo Sauce has 1,803 calories! So crazy.. here's some websites so you can gross yourself out too! :)

http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/slideshow/20-worst-drinks-america-2010

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/worst-burgers-america-2010

http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/slideshow/20-new-worst-foods-america/

Summer Part Deux

I am home now. I miss Gainesville already. I will mostly miss crock pot nights and discovering new study spots- not to mention the thought of watching Whale Wars solo is depressing. I am happy to be home though, I have tons of catching up to do and bbq pork to serve. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work. I was thinking about it yesterday as I left my quaint, peaceful museum job- the clouds were black and thunder was rolling, the sky was shortly going to open up and completely drench me- that is how I feel about going back to Oakwood. So, I am trying to take a more positive approach to it- I am focusing on the money and few good friends I have there, and not the bad memories and silly drama. The less black the skies, the smaller the rain... or something like that.

I have a few goals for summer and if I write them here I will be more accountable for them:

1. Go to Busch Gardens and make the purchasing of the ticket worth it.

2. GO TO THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!

3. Buy my text books early and start learning some of the info.

4. Play lots of beach volleyball.

5. Take my brother to the library a lot.

6. Go to the beach before it turns black.

7. Make art for Laura's apartment.

8. Play with my cows.

9. Buy a crossword answer book and become a crossword master.

10. Learn a sweet new skill like origami or computer hacking or something like that..

When The Basket Cheats On All Your Eggs..

In my urban planning class we were discussing "dead towns." The most general cause is the reliance on a single industry which either leaves because it is less expensive to operate in another town or the business becomes obsolete for various reasons. When the business leaves, so does the stable economy. It is common good planning practice not to permit single industry reliance. It is also good life practice. Not putting "all your eggs in one basket" is something that every parent, teacher, guidance counselor etc. tell you throughout life. It is also something that I have issues with. I mostly just don't like wasting eggs. However, since college, it has become a recurring fear that the future that I have had planned out for myself since the seventh grade might not happen. I've wanted to go to UF, be a city planner, work for the federal government, and when I am old start my own consulting company. The UF part already almost didn't work out- so this makes me wonder if I need to invest in more baskets. Except, I am a basket snob. I don't see any point in settling for less- so I would have to find a basket of similar size and aesthetic value. I also wonder is it better to be on the market for baskets rather than have already invested all your money in one, single basket? Is there a time when the market closes? Metaphors are fun. So is watching Criminal Minds and I don't feel like elaborating on my thought process. Goodnight. :)

My Subconscious Desire To Be A Badass Nun-

I had a dream last night that I had joined a convent. One night the convent was having a big dinner and for whatever reason there was a girl there doing piercings, well I decided it would be a swell idea to get a crazy lip piercing done that looks something like this- except all the way around my bottom lip. Well somehow I walked away without paying and am sitting outside freaking out about what I had just done... obviously my sisters would NOT be okay with my new face ornaments. Well the piercing lady found me and asked me to pay her and I asked her to take them out and she charged me a lot of money. I wish I knew what that meant, but I am mildly amused by my subconscious and wish that I remembered my dreams more often.

Here are some other piercing pictures I found that freaked me out.....

Wow... people are weird.

Strawberry Shortcake, SVU, and Jose.

This weekend was MEGA boring. I spent 25% of it at work, 25% sleeping, and 50% watching Law and Order: SVU whilst getting fat with Jonathan. We ate so much food... strawberry shortcake, ice cream, popcorn, homemade egg mcmuffins, spiderman mac n cheese... that's all I can remember right now.

So, I was talking to my mom earlier and she is basically an undercover slum lord. She manages about 12 homes in the Clermont area and has the worst luck. One time, these people moved out of the house and told my mom to walk through it to see how much of their deposit they would get back- well the house was INFESTED with fleas. It was so traumatic that if you mention fleas around her she gets all itchy and mad at you... so I make sure to mention them as much as possible. Another time- these people just left and stopped paying bills, rent, etc. so my mom finally went to go put a beat down on them... well the house smelled like someone died in it because the power had been turned off and there was veal in the freezer. First of all... veal is expensive, how do you pay for veal but not your rent? Second, you would think that they would say SOMETHING... but no.. they just leave. Another time, this lady didn't pay her rent for like three months and said it was because her husband left her and wahhh wahh wahh and wanted my mom to feel bad for her and refused to leave the house... how does it occur to someone that it is okay to live for free?!!? Boxes are free, under the bridge is free, but a three bedroom house in a gated community is not free! So today, she gets a phone call from Jose- who is this guy that always pays his rent on time and in cash.. she doesn't ask where the cash comes from because it is probably best not to know- well Jose no longer has a "job" and is now in Miami... SURPRISE! So again, no rent... my mom needs different double life.. she should try mob boss...

So, this brings me to my social quandary of the day... What has happened to peoples' integrity? I recognize the survival techniques- everyone wants to have a roof over their head and money in their pockets, but at what moral expense? Where is the line between protecting yourself and your family and being morally corrupt? Is it ever okay to lie, cheat, or steal for protection? Sometimes.. I wish there was a rule book to life. Guidelines for what is wrong and right. That way, when someone misbehaves we can throw the book at them- but who decides what is wrong and right? Now, you can determine what is "socially acceptable," but what does that mean? So many questions... so few answers... oh life, how you amaze and befuddle me.

Magnets, Magic, and Naked Strangers.

I started this morning having a pretty solid idea of what I was going to blog about today. I read this really interesting article about a civil engineer who decided jobs and money are overrated and his real life goal was to walk from coast to coast of the US. I was going to discuss how I felt about it and whatnot- but today's events have made a subtle request for me to put aside my feelings on personal quests.

First of all... Buckyballs are awesome! They are basically these wicked strong little magnets that you can make shapes out of. Which may sound easy or boring, but that would be a false assumption. They may seem more entertaining to me because I work at a museum store with nothing to do but play with all the children's toys- but regardless Rolling Stone Magazine rated it the adult toy of the year. Now, I realize that "adult toy" sounds like something you would find at Cafe Risque, but in reality the magnets are just too strong/small for kids to play with.

Speaking of Cafe Risque..... after a miserable attempt at basketball by the Magic tonight the group of boys and one sleeping girl I was watching the game with decided to channel surf. BAD PLAN. Late night Cinemax/HBO = naked bodies. Lots of naked bodies. I never knew there were so many documentaries about porn stars. Now, admittedly I was curious as to the secret life of the well lubed and famous- but not enough to actually watch the show. However, I was out ranked by testosterone. These people live such dangerous and dysfunctional lives, while promoting the rest of the world to do the same. I am exceptionally opposed to pornography, watching naked strangers is frowned upon because it is wrong. I find myself wondering what people did before "adult entertainment," and if it wasn't for adult entertainment- would the divorce rate be less?

I love social patterns. The end.

Karma, Kevin, and the Moon.

The Moon was big tonight. It wasn't full- just well nourished. I prefer the Moon on a diet. When it is in a crescent shape. It reminds me of a big smile, or frown, depending on the half full/half empty status of my day. TODAY'S STATUS: half full, for sure.

The Fair Trade tea was delicious, tacos were satisfying, and the company was top notch. I also enjoyed the obviously calculated meeting of Kevin, who couldn't resist Laura's Banana Republic jeans and our stimulating religious conversation. It never ceases to amuse me how talking about religion is like yelling "strangers come talk to me!" I don't mind though, as long as the strangers leave their sassy pants at home. I am intrigued by all kinds and variations of religion, and enjoy the deeper sensibility of personal beliefs. The conversation, although a bit awkward, was refreshing compared to the general college meet and greet, which always seems to have the same dialogue.

This didn't last long though... majors, future plans, and classes were shared shortly after the religion was dropped. I guess we couldn't be too socially progressive. I think my chai tea buzz is finally going away. Goodnight Moon.