BBQ Sauce Perfume.

One good thing about working at a restaurant: I will never drop out of school, so that I never have to work in the food service industry ever again. It is too stressful, I feel like my head is spinning the whole time I'm there. I also can't stand the smell. I constantly smell like pulled pork. Which is gross because I don't even like BBQ food, unless it is from Jack's. Jack's is the best because their sauce does not taste like BBQ sauce, it just tastes awesome, and it's obviously better because the whole restaurant is covered with gator stuff- hello heaven?!

So, I went to a bar/club last night- I would love for someone to explain to me why college night=old creepy guy night. Also, explain to me why making vulgar gestures seems like an effective way of picking up the ladies... Seeing what you can do with your tongue doesn't make me think "Oh my, that man is super delicious, let me leave my friends and let you have your way with me." I figured out I highly dislike dancing with strangers, unless of course it's salsa dancing.. that's totally allowed. There is nothing more awkward then having a man rub his clever parts on you when you don't even know his name... So because of the creep factor we didn't stay long.. which was unfortunate because there was this super fun gay guy dancing his little heart out and I greatly enjoyed watching him.

One more month until my life returns to normal and structured and busy. I can't wait!

The Story Of My Life..

I'm often told my life should be made into a TV show.. I can't understand this. My life is boring, predictable, and monotonous- which I am aware is redundant. Admittedly, I do have minor dramatic issues and my family is crazy, but I think I'm pretty normal. My crazy family has inspired me to want to write a kid series called MOMZILLA AND THE BRAT. Kinda like Beezus and Ramona only with a Captain Underpants twist. I think it'll be awesome. The event that inspired this was:

I was showering... minding my own business... and I hear my mom call from the door. She said "Meagan, come out here for a second you need to see this!" So, I stick my head out to see a strange girl laughing hysterically at me, my mom is laughing, and my uncle who is standing in the hallway is also laughing (I know it sounds like a bad dream.) I then realize that the strange girl is my brother in a lady wig. No joke he looked EXACTLY like a girl. I am not trying to make fun of my brother... he's pretty manly for an 11 year old- I guess. I was seriously frightened. Watching horror movies has taught me bad things happen in the shower and little girls are creepy. And then realizing it was my brother made me frightened that he may have a future in a crossdressing career. My family just thought this situation was hilarious. I'm locking the door from now on....

My summer goals are slow in coming. I am going to the beach tomorrow, I have successfully taken my brother to the library a few times, and started on project Laura. I miss Gainesville and have started a countdown until I am reunited with Gator soil. I think I can make it... as long as I have water and canned soup.

Hey, What's Your SPF?

Today I realized that I often have completely hypothetical or imaginary conversations with people. I think this is weird... For example: this morning I told Jonathan that I was an advanced species of human that was immune from a "biological clock," but I couldn't talk about it because the Caveman species were hunting my people out of jealousy. I told him this because I said his biological clock was ticking and that he was too old to marry anyone decent- so he should start hitting on people that he meets on the bus. Then, he politely pointed out that I am older than him and equally as available.

This wouldn't be weird if I was in elementary school, in fact that would be pretty tame for me- I used to pretend to be Harry Potter/make up other HP characters and invent personalities for them and act it out during recess with my friends. I also used to dig "bug hotels" in the dirt during my tomboy stage with my dude friends. Alas, I am not in elementary school, but I find it hard to take life seriously. I have an overactive imagination... do they have AA meetings for that?

No Good Very Bad Food

I love reading articles that show you which foods are bad for you at restaurants and just in general. They have them up on Yahoo! News all the time. They kind of scare me that one single dish could have the daily recommended calorie intake, but I can't stop reading them- it's a serious problem.

The Smokin' Q Three Pack at Denny's has 2,020 calories! And the Red Robin Peppercorn Burger has 1,433, Five Guys fries (large) has 1,464, and the Cheesecake Factory Kids' Pasta with Alfredo Sauce has 1,803 calories! So crazy.. here's some websites so you can gross yourself out too! :)

http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/slideshow/20-worst-drinks-america-2010

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/worst-burgers-america-2010

http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/slideshow/20-new-worst-foods-america/

Summer Part Deux

I am home now. I miss Gainesville already. I will mostly miss crock pot nights and discovering new study spots- not to mention the thought of watching Whale Wars solo is depressing. I am happy to be home though, I have tons of catching up to do and bbq pork to serve. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work. I was thinking about it yesterday as I left my quaint, peaceful museum job- the clouds were black and thunder was rolling, the sky was shortly going to open up and completely drench me- that is how I feel about going back to Oakwood. So, I am trying to take a more positive approach to it- I am focusing on the money and few good friends I have there, and not the bad memories and silly drama. The less black the skies, the smaller the rain... or something like that.

I have a few goals for summer and if I write them here I will be more accountable for them:

1. Go to Busch Gardens and make the purchasing of the ticket worth it.

2. GO TO THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!

3. Buy my text books early and start learning some of the info.

4. Play lots of beach volleyball.

5. Take my brother to the library a lot.

6. Go to the beach before it turns black.

7. Make art for Laura's apartment.

8. Play with my cows.

9. Buy a crossword answer book and become a crossword master.

10. Learn a sweet new skill like origami or computer hacking or something like that..

When The Basket Cheats On All Your Eggs..

In my urban planning class we were discussing "dead towns." The most general cause is the reliance on a single industry which either leaves because it is less expensive to operate in another town or the business becomes obsolete for various reasons. When the business leaves, so does the stable economy. It is common good planning practice not to permit single industry reliance. It is also good life practice. Not putting "all your eggs in one basket" is something that every parent, teacher, guidance counselor etc. tell you throughout life. It is also something that I have issues with. I mostly just don't like wasting eggs. However, since college, it has become a recurring fear that the future that I have had planned out for myself since the seventh grade might not happen. I've wanted to go to UF, be a city planner, work for the federal government, and when I am old start my own consulting company. The UF part already almost didn't work out- so this makes me wonder if I need to invest in more baskets. Except, I am a basket snob. I don't see any point in settling for less- so I would have to find a basket of similar size and aesthetic value. I also wonder is it better to be on the market for baskets rather than have already invested all your money in one, single basket? Is there a time when the market closes? Metaphors are fun. So is watching Criminal Minds and I don't feel like elaborating on my thought process. Goodnight. :)

My Subconscious Desire To Be A Badass Nun-

I had a dream last night that I had joined a convent. One night the convent was having a big dinner and for whatever reason there was a girl there doing piercings, well I decided it would be a swell idea to get a crazy lip piercing done that looks something like this- except all the way around my bottom lip. Well somehow I walked away without paying and am sitting outside freaking out about what I had just done... obviously my sisters would NOT be okay with my new face ornaments. Well the piercing lady found me and asked me to pay her and I asked her to take them out and she charged me a lot of money. I wish I knew what that meant, but I am mildly amused by my subconscious and wish that I remembered my dreams more often.

Here are some other piercing pictures I found that freaked me out.....

Wow... people are weird.